I've forgotten it all

I recently made a trip to my doctor for a very serious disease. I have been suffering from this for about 7 years. Coincidentally, it began right about the time I became pregnant with my first child. I knew that as soon as I had my diagnosis that I immediately had to share it with my fellow moms. No one should suffer. There is no known cure. This is scary stuff. Let me tell you all about it.
Here were my symptoms: It all began when I was pregnant. I was craving my nightly mint chocolate chip ice cream when I went to the freezer to get it out. It wasn't there. I kept checking everywhere in my kitchen. I finally found my melted quart of ice cream in the cabinet. I pointed my swollen finger at my husband. How could he misplace my favorite stuff? He looked at me like I was crazy and at that point I knew. I had placed my beloved mint chocolate chip away in the cabinet instead of the freezer. I was quite literally losing my mind.
It all went downhill from there. After my son was born I forgot everything. I forgot where I put my keys, when I showered last and when it came time to find my car in the parking lot let's just say that I walked off ten pounds of that baby weight! At this point, after having three bundles of joy, I can't even remember what I did yesterday. I've been known to get in my van and begin driving and five minutes into my trip realize that I have no idea where I am going. After several years of this behavior I knew that I needed to see a professional.
My diagnosis – MOMNESIA! My doctor told me that Momnesia is the mental fuzziness and memory lapses that set in shortly after childbirth. I could give more details on her boring diagnosis or I could tell you in a way that only a mom can understand. Our children are stealing our brains! You see, with each and every child that we have, a little more of our brain goes with them. They are making us forget everything that does not include them. Apparently, it is natures way of making sure that our children are our first priority.
It is also known to get worse with every child. I have three children so if I see you on the street and forget your name please forgive me. Those moms with four or five children can be forgiven for everything from forgetting to show up for your wedding (yes, even if they are your bridesmaid) to forgetting what happened five minutes ago.
The treatment – Every mom has a system that they try to work for them. Some like to tie a string around their finger. This only works if you remember what the string is for! Some place post its all over their house. This is great if those little brain stealers don't rip them off the wall. Some invest in a big “Mom” calender with columns for every member of their household. These can be confusing to even look at. While all of this can help, our brains will never be the same.
Yes I said never. My doctor informed me that Momnesia never really goes away. So, even if your children are in your teens you're likely to forget what month it is.
I am so saddened by all of this so I am going to deal with this information in the best way that I can. And that is to forget about it! Forget about what – you ask? Boy, that was easy.