The difference in raising our children
There is an old Chinese proverb that describes how a mother reacts when her child drops their pacifier on the floor. (Okay, so it's not Chinese but that makes it sound more appealing than saying some random mom at the park said it). Anyway, the saying goes like this - when your first child drops their pacifier on the ground you pick it up, sanitize it properly and hand it back to them. No germs for your pride and joy! When your second child drops their pacifier on the floor you pick it up, run it under some water and hand it back to them. You're pretty sure the water got most of the germs off. By the time your third child drops their pacifier on the floor you pick it up, spit on it and rub it on your pants to dry, and hand it back to them. Germ scherm! Who's got time to worry about such trivial things!
Those with only one child, please stop your 'it will never happen to me' thoughts because, well . . . . IT WILL!. Most moms change their parenting style the more children that they have. We get more laid back and relaxed than we thought that we ever would.
The first change in our parenting style occurs with our children's milestones. With our first child we read our official 'First Year' books which are placed prominently in our bookshelf where they are easily accessible. We look ahead at every month to make sure our child is exactly where they are supposed to be. If they are walking, talking or even blinking ahead of schedule we tell the whole world. We're bragging to grandma, our friends and even the clerk at the grocery store! If they are even a week behind in what they are supposed to be we are in a panic. By the time we reach our third child things have changed a bit. That official 'First Year' book is now buried behind an “Us Weekly” magazine. You have no idea when your child is technically supposed to roll over or sleep through the night but are smart enough to know it's somewhere between three months and a year. And (thank goodness!) you are so much more relaxed when your child grows at their own rate and not little Jack's down the street.
Following milestones by a close second are naps. Your first child always slept in their crib. Your entire day was planned around their nap schedule. You left the zoo in plenty of time to get home and place them in the crib before they would drift slowly off to sleep. Your second child was a little different. You might leave the zoo a little later, so they fell asleep in the car. If you're lucky, they will stay asleep as you transfer them from their car seat to their crib. And if they wake up during this transfer, oh well, they just had a shorter nap today. Now, by the time your third child comes around your trip to the zoo does not include nap plans. Your third child will take their nap in the stroller for thirty minutes without missing a beat and you will not think anything of it.
Another way us moms get more relaxed is with what tv programs our children are allowed to watch. Your first child probably only watched one or two of those 'Baby Einstein' videos to enhance their brain development. The ones and twos were spent watching the educational Sesame Street or Blue's Clues. By the time your third child came around they quickly skip over all of those younger shows. They want to watch Sponge Bob and Hanna Montana from the age of 9 months. It's not that you've planned it that way, but seeing their big sister or big brother watching those cool shows makes them want to watch them also. And the house is so quiet with all of your children watching tv that you don't see the point in arguing.
Moms, don't fret if you see yourself in any of these situations or have many more of your own. It is these relaxed ways which make our subsequent children more adaptable. I, for one, (a second child) am a much better person for it!